Ecology of the Heart

A brand new exclusive to Substack poem

Me in the forest near Roslin Castle in Roslin, Scotland in July 2022. I learned later that this stretch of woods is the largest area of ancient forest in the county of Midlothian, Scotland and once surrounded the 14th century castle whose ruins still stand nearby; a thin place to be sure.

Today’s poem is inspired by my continuing work with Internal Family Systems in my weekly therapy sessions, which I wrote more in depth about back in June. In the spirit of seeing all the parts of me as not needing to be banished or shamed or silenced, but find belonging, I have begun to adopt my therapist’s metaphor of a forest when it comes to what my mind, heart, and spirit could be: a vast space full of all kinds of gorgeous blooms right alongside twisted branches, rushing streams, dry leaves, sun and storms. Some gray, some glittering, all worthy of seeing and loving, just as they are.

What if we could see ourselves like a forest, and let go of the need to label anything as ugly, broken, or not the way it is “supposed” to be?

What if our hearts and minds and souls are their own ecosystems?

Similar to a forest, what if we needed each part of us to be respected for its role in the functioning of such a complex environment?

Just like an ecosystem, parts of ourselves do need to be balanced and can’t always be given the green light to run rampant. Yet just as we shouldn’t wish to get rid of the beetles in the forest, less we disrupt all the good work they do to make sure everything else keeps flourishing as it should, perhaps we would be wise not to parse out and judge parts of ourselves as simply “good” and “bad” but existing as part of one, whole, (frankly) astonishing habitat?

This has been a hard mindset shift I’ve recently begun to experiment with, and it already feels well worth practicing ways of not fighting against our own ecologies. There is no need to wage war inside of ourselves (and if we ceased this fight, there may be no need to wage war against others). I am grateful for the bits of peace it has brought with it so far.

As always, I hope you read something that eases your burdens just a bit, and I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Now on to the poem itself, which I am calling Ecology of the Heart…